Annual Christmas Tree Joke

So, Mark and I took the tree down this morning. It goes surprisingly fast now that the boys are actually able to help more than hinder. And we laughed, as we do every year, at our favorite Christmas tree joke. It was actually a bit from a Jerry Seinfeld stand-up routine. He says "What's the deal with Christmas trees? People put them up, decorate them, and stare at them, mesmerized, for weeks leading up to Christmas. Then the day after Christmas arrives, and everybody freaks out, like "Oh my gosh! There's a tree in the house! Get it out! GET IT OUT!!!!"

Good times.

Christmas Dinner Recap

Well, as my loyal readers know, I was perplexed as to what to cook for Christmas Dinner. In the end, I went with a leg of lamb. I roasted it over a bed of veggies (carrots, red potatoes, parsnips, and fennel) with white wine and a lemon-mustard glaze. It was pretty good - Mark's parents joined us, and none of us had ever had lamb before. We all sat around the table and chewed, looked at the ceiling a few times (why do you always look up when trying new food?), and then came to the conclusion that if no one told us, we would think we were eating roast beef. But it was good. For dessert we had a pear tart that I made (which was completely devoid of flavor of any kind - go figure) and a pecan pie that Mark made (delish!).

And the company was even better. Mark's dad used a walker all day (no chair! Yippee!), and everyone was in good spirits. The boys read the Christmas story from different scriptures. After dinner, we watched A Christmas Story and took naps.

Later on, Mark rescued a stranded brand-new RC helicopter from the roof with a tree trimmer and three large buckets. It was a Norman Rockwell day from start to finish.

I hope all your Christmases were just as merry.

Merry Christmas!

More Christmas Cookies

So, there are these cookies my Mom gets from Freeman's Bakery in Florence. If you described them to me, I would say "no, thanks." They just don't sound that great on paper. But they are AWESOME. The elves at Freeman's roll out strips of something kin to gingerbread dough filled with fruit cake fruits, bake them, and them cut them into short strips. They rock.

And while I don't have a good gingerbread recipe, I do have a good cookie recipe: the world's best chocolate chip cookies. And I thought, why not use the base of these cookies to make something similar to those Freeman's gems? After all, I have used the base cookie dough for white chocolate and macadamia nut cookies, and they turned out fab.

So I made the world's best chocolate chip cookie dough. Only I didn't add any chips. Instead, I added a half a cup of chopped walnuts, and a cup and a half of fruit cake fruits (I don't know what else to call them.) I also added a half a teaspoon cinnamon, a quarter teaspoon cardamom, and some freshly grated nutmeg.

Daniel has refused to try them (he is very loyal to his chips), but Mark and Ben gave them an enthusiastic thumbs up. I liked them as well. We have deemed them "Santa-Worthy." I love it when a plan comes together.

And by the way, if you ever go to Florence, go to Freeman's Bakery. Even if you don't buy any cookies, it's worth it just to go in and smell the place.

What's for Dinner? (In Pictures....)

Mmm-Mmm Good.

Christmas Cookies!

Today was Christmas cookie day at our house! We baked three different kinds of cookies, some with better results than others.

First up, we baked Alton Brown's Chocolate-Peppermint Pinwheels. He made these on The Santa Clause episode (very funny.)

Clearly, mine didn't spread as well as AB's did, but man, they were good.

By contrast, the raspberry thumbprints spread like wildfire. I couldn't even get them off of the pan. I finally just slid the parchment off the cookie sheet and left it on a desk. We eat one when we walk past.

Finally, the main event. We have a GREAT sugar cookie recipe that we make every year, using the cookie cutters that me and my brother used when we were kids.

I like them plain. (This says a lot for the recipe.)

Mark and the boys like them decorated.

Lookin' good!

I wanted to make chocolate chip cookies, and experiment with a fruit-chewy-nut cookie, but my feet hurt and I still have to cook dinner. If I try the other cookies, I'll post later in the week.

Wish I could share some with you!!

Dinner Party

My sister-in-law Karen just finished FIVE SEMESTERS of nursing school. Those of us with two kids and a job and a house to keep know how HUGE an accomplishment this is. Since we missed her pinning ceremony, we decided to have Karen and Craig and their kids Callen and Anna over for dinner to celebrate!

We started the evening by toasting Karen's success with sparkling white grape juice (Daniel gave the toast.) Ben said the prayer, then we all enjoyed bacon-wrapped pork tenderloin, maple butter sweet potatoes, roasted asparagus, spinach-hazelnut salad, and dinner rolls. And then we chased it down with creme brulee.

But most importantly, we had a great visit. After dinner, I forced everyone in front of the tree for pictures. Good times.

Sticker Shock

All year long, I have been planning a Christmas meal. Not real, serious meal-planning mind you, just kicking around ideas, with the basic idea being to prepare a really nice, bordering high-brow, Christmas meal for Mark and the boys (and anyone else who wanted to join). My fantasy involved a standing rib roast, or possibly a leg of lamb, or something that equally screams "special occasion".

So I go to Ingles last weekend and take a meander through the meat department, just looking to see what was out there. I don't know about your neck of the woods, but around here, stores don't carry real specialty items until close to Christmas. So I was just taking an inventory - seeing what was available.

And Ingles had a standing rib roast! And it was $80! (Actually, it was $80 with the Ingles Advantage card - it was really $95.) Holy Lord! I put it down like it was on fire. I walked off, looking like someone who accidentally picked up an adult magazine or something.

Eighty dollars??? I wanted a special occasion, but not that special.

So yesterday, Mark and I are at Food City, and I decide to check out their meat department. They have a leg of lamb! For $68. And a beef tenderloin. For a couple thousand and some change. The most "in my budget" thing they had was a loin of pork for $30, but it didn't even have the bones in it.

I haven't completely given up. After all, I can do some pretty amazing things with a pork tenderloin, but we have that all the time (tonight, in fact.) I'm looking again on Monday, so we'll see what I find. I may end up hanging out at the grocery store until closing time on Christmas Eve and making an offer.

Holiday Movie Quotes

OK, most of these should be fairly easy, but I thought it would be a fun, seasonal thing to do. Go!

1. "Eat, Papa, eat!"
2. "He must be a South Pole Elf."
3. "Naddafinga!"
4. "Happy Birthday!"
5. "Merry Christmas, Uncle,"
6. "Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?"
7. "I'm Mister Green Christmas. I'm Mister Hundred and One!"
8. "Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?"

Merry Christmas!

The Bethlehem Project

The boys' church Christmas play was tonight, and they did a great job!! Ben played Uzzi, a Bethlehem street tuff, and Daniel played Caleb, his right-hand man. They both sang short solos (a first!) and said all their lines loud and clear. It was a really nice program.

Uzzi and Caleb share a laugh.

Caleb mops the stable.

Daniel's teacher came to see him in action.

The show also featured Gigantor as Joseph.

Visit With Sam

On Saturday, the extended fam had an Early Christmas/Late Thanksgiving/Sam's Birthday celebration.

Of course, I only got pictures of Sam.

With one exception.

Good times.

Orchestra Concert

Last night, we attended the Winter Orchestra Concert for the 6th, 7th, 8th, and 9-12th grade orchestras - four groups total. Each group played for about 15 minutes each, and it was amazing to hear the improvement as the more advanced groups performed. They were really, really good.

Ben looked great, all dressed up playing the bass. We didn't get a good video of him - it was too dark, and he was hidden behind the kid next to him (which was somehow made worse by the fact that the kid's name was Claude.) I mostly posted the video so you could see the staging - they created a city skyline for the backdrop, and hung huge snowflakes from the ceiling - it was awesome! The high school kids closed the show with Sleighride, and they actually made it snow in the auditorium! It was a really cool program!

This is the 6th grade orchestra playing Jingle Bells. Enjoy!

Second Class Scout

Congratulations Ben!

Ben passed his Board Review tonight, and has officially earned the Boy Scout Second Class Rank! Requirements included lots of swimming, orienting a map and compass, building a fire, using tools to collect fire wood, pitching a tent, learning various first aid tricks, and lots of other things. He will not receive his second class badge until the next Court of Honor in January, but it's on the books!! We're very proud of him!!

The Curious Case of the Chocolate Custard

As I posted before, Daniel gave me a wonderful chocolate cookbook for my birthday. I have been meaning to cook something out of it, and today was the day. My dish? A basic chocolate custard.

You know custard. Egg-based, cooked lovingly over low heat, whisked constantly. I had the whole afternoon, so I figure, why not?

I was doing fine, pouring the milk and cocoa into the egg yolks and sugar, whisking constantly over low heat. And then I dropped one bowl into the other.

Chocolate milk and eggs went everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I think we're going to have to paint the kitchen. But there was plenty left, and I had to keep whisking constantly over low heat. I was drenched in chocolate, and found it necessary to remove articles of clothing. I won't bore you (or offend you) by explaining what my stage of dress was at this point, but please know that it was certainly unusual for kitchen work. This was the moment that Mark came in to see what all the commotion was.

To his credit, he didn't comment on my appearance. He did suppress a laugh, but he cleaned up the mess without balking while I whisked constantly over low heat.

Despite all this whisking constantly over low heat, the custard never set. I finally gave up. I poured the soupy mess into a bowl and put it in the fridge, holding out hope that it would set up in the cool air, much like instant pudding does.

Sadly, I did not let Mark in on the secret that the custard didn't set. He comes in later to unload some groceries, and needs to move the custard bowl out of the way. He pulls the bowl out with the force that one would use to move a bowl of nicely set custard, but with way too much force for a bowl of chocolate milk. It goes everywhere. He cleaned it up, and Ben was nice enough to mop the floor.

Later still, we all sit down to watch the DVR'd Dallas/Pittsburgh game. (Please don't tell me who won.) I'm thinking what a waste it would be to throw the custard milk away, and decide to use it for a dipping sauce for pretzels. I pour some in a small ramekin, and nuke it. I then go looking for the pretzels (they're on the living room floor - of course!) When I return, I find my bowl of custard milk much changed. It looks like something I might patch holes in asphalt with. But I give it a mix, and find it rather tasty.

Curious in a scientific way, I pour another ramekin of custard milk and nuke it as well. But this time I nuke it and stir it every 15 seconds or so, until it comes to the consistency of pudding. I try it - delicious!

So I take the entire bowl, put it in the microwave, and nuke it lovingly until it sets up as custard should.

Apparently, the constant, loving whisking of custard over low heat is not actually necessary. What is actually required for custard, after you have poured half of your mixture all over your kitchen, is to zap-fry it in the microwave for a couple of minutes. Who knew?

Joseph

As you may have noticed, I have been extremely lax in my blogging. It's not that we aren't doing anything (quite the opposite), it's just that nothing seems particularly blog-worthy. So in lieu of a new post about us, I thought I'd post a poem I wrote a year or two back. I wrote it after seeing The Nativity Story and thought, since it's seasonal, this would be as good a time as any to post it. I hope you enjoy it...

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A Moment for Joseph
Inspired by the movie The Nativity Story

Joseph
Your name means God will increase
So it makes me wonder
Just what He had to increase in you
To prepare you for your calling
Did He increase your faithfulness
So that you might more readily follow the voices of angels?
Did He increase your goodness
So that you might honor a promise to a disgraced young girl?
Did He increase your self-control
So that you might more calmly bear the laughter of those you once called friend?
Did He increase your patience
So that you might more easily stay in your Egyptian exile?

Or did He increase nothing at all?
Did you find favor with Him just as you were, as Mary did?
We hear so much about Mary
And why she was chosen
But why you?
Why did He choose
A humble Hebrew carpenter
To be the father to the Son of the Most High?

I imagine you often wondered that yourself

What an awesome task set before you
To comfort
To counsel
Perhaps even to discipline
Your very own creator
Why you?
What did He see in you
That He wanted His son to see also?

I like to imagine you
In your woodshop
With Jesus at your side
As you teach him your trade
Letting him watch you
Hold a piece of wood in your hand
While you carve it
Shape it
Change it
And call it good
Maybe that’s precisely what God imagined
When he chose you

Maybe He knew that history would forget you
That no one would record when or even how you died
That you would drop out of the story of Jesus’s life
As abruptly as you were dropped into it
And maybe He knew that you would walk through it all
With grace
And gentleness
And humility
Knowing that you were simply part of something much bigger than yourself

And maybe that’s why
He didn’t forget you
When everyone else did
No, He remembered you
And He gave you the most precious of gifts
The gift of a moment
One single moment in time
When He chose you to be the first person
The very first person
To touch God the Son
The very first person
To hold the Word Made Flesh
In your dusty human hands

And I wonder
What did that moment
Increase in you?