Not the Story I Thought He Was Telling

So, I pick the boys up from school. Ben immediately starts in with one of his high-octane, play-by-play stories.

"We were playing basketball in the gym today and I was at half court and Alex was driving the basket so I MOTORED down court and I jumped right when he jumped and I sky-walked about a mile and got right up in his face and when he tried to make the shot I reached way back behind me and slammed my hand forward and REJECTED him so bad and when I landed I was sure I had diarrhea'd myself but then I went to the bathroom and I was fine."